Hope Is The Thing We Need To Go On

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Jaimie Vogelsong

His short little legs propel his big blue truck down the pebble covered asphalt, barely balancing his weight over the tailgate. I watch and wait. Will he make it down the driveway? Or will he lose control and take a tumble? Either way, the freedom of the outdoors and the thrill of the run are worth the risk.

As the one we affectionately call Monster Baby tempts the fate of skinned knees, his older brother Wild Boy rides his green bike.

He coasts down the hill, risking the same crash and burn as his younger brother. He rolls through the grass, unaware that standard bike protocol recommends pavement. He rides back to the fence to check on the dogs. He whoops and howls to hear the sound of his echoes as they vibrate around the neighborhood.

Wild Boy is old enough to notice we are spending a lot more time at home, but he is also young enough not to mind most of the time. About once a day he asks to leave for preschool or dinner or to visit the store. So far, we’ve gotten away with simple things like, “not today” or “sorry, it’s closed.” Monster Baby doesn’t notice or care at all.

Monster Baby and Wild Boy know that we’ve started making a few more phone calls to family. They’ve learned what video calls are and love the chance to talk to Grandma. They spend their days dashing through the halls in a shared super hero cape and driving toy cars through the house. They even got to claim a couple of boxes for all their important playtime needs.

They seem blissfully unaware of how scary the world is right now. They don’t know that Mom has worried about everything. Constantly. For days. They haven’t seen her tear up out of nowhere when she is suddenly anxious and fighting off panic or overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers.

The boys know that every day we will have lunch and then take naps. They know Mom has chores and Dad goes to work sometimes. They know that we will go outside in the afternoon if the weather allows, and probably watch a movie after dinner.

The boys know that something is different, but nothing is wrong. They know we are at home and that home is safe. Monster Baby and Wild Boy know that Mom and Dad will do anything for them. For today that means finding a new normal that actually feels normal by leaning in to the love and hope and kindness that makes things a little less scary.

Jaimie Vogelsong is many things, but most of her time is spent being a stay at home mother to Jack and Owen. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Environmental Science and worked professionally in both outdoor recreation and environmental regulations. She spends her days keeping the peace, evenings crocheting, and any spare minutes in the pursuit of knowledge.