Erica Nerbonne
In fourth grade, I wrote that fear was stronger than hope. 9/11, stranger danger, and scraped knees—the world was full of fear, and it prevented me from doing.
In my fourth year of college, I could no longer write, couldn’t sit up nor hold a pen, but I could feel that hope was stronger than fear. As my chronic health condition worsened, my organs began to fail. I relied on feeding tubes, IV fluids, and the swift hands of nurses. My mom slept quietly on the tattered cot next to my hospital bed. When I tried to shift from sleeping on my back to my side, I was trapped in the sludge and drudge of illness; I couldn’t move my arms, my legs, or my neck. As I lie in the bed, stuck on my petechia-covered back, I was petrified until a whisper broke through the dark, “Do you need anything, honey?” Hope is the mom who still checks on you when you are twenty-two and need her help. Hope is the whisper that quells fear. Hope was there.
Now, I write that hope is stronger than fear. When I tossed and turned in bed last night, I was bombarded by the doubts and dreads of a world that might end. As I sat up, I was panicked until the gentle whisper of my dog’s snoring interrupted my dark thoughts. Hope is the rescue dog who sleeps soundly, warming your lap. Hope is the whisper that quells fear. Hope is still here.
There are fourth graders who will be tempted to write that fear is stronger than hope. Global warming, poverty, and pandemics—the world can be full of fear, but it cannot prevent us from doing. Just listen for hope. Hope is the sigh of a nurse, settling in at home after a long night. Hope is the murmur of music that your neighbor dances to next door. Hope is the mumbled “I love you” at the end of a quick phone call. Hope is the whisper that quells fear. Hope is near.
Erica Nerbonne is an Eau Claire native. She is currently studying Spanish Linguistics at UW-Eau Claire and is excited to be (finally) graduating this May. She will then go on to pursue graduate studies in Ohio, focusing on English Language and Literature. She loves reading, baking, and taking long walks with her dogs throughout the Eastside Hill neighborhood.